Page 13 - Living Epistles

to study in school and at the same time work for the Lord. One evening I spoke
with my father concerning the matter of receiving financial assistance. I said,
"After praying for several days, I feel that I must tell you that I will no longer
spend your money. I appreciate that you have spent so much on me in accord
with your sense of fatherly responsibility. But you will expect me to earn
money in the future and support you in return, and I must tell you beforehand
that since I am going to be a preacher, I will not be able to repay you in the
future nor pay you interest. Even though I have not completed my studies, I
wish to learn to depend solely upon God."

When I said this, my father thought I was joking. However, from then on,
when my mother would occasionally give me five or ten dollars, she would
write on the envelope: "To Brother Nee To-sheng." She was not giving me
money as a mother.

After I had expressed myself thus to my father, the devil came to tempt me by
saying, "Such an act is very dangerous. Suppose one day you are unable to
maintain your living and you again approach your father for money. Won't
that be disgraceful? You have spoken to your father too soon; you should have
waited until there was more progress in your work, until many people had
been saved and you had many friends, before you began to live a life of faith."
But thank the Lord, ever since I expressed my decision to discontinue
receiving my father's support, I have never asked him for money.

Looking to God for Sustenance while Working

To the best of my knowledge, Sister Dora Yu was the only preacher at that
time who did not receive a salary and who depended wholly upon God for her
living. She was my spiritual elder sister, and we knew each other very well. She
had many friends, Chinese and foreign, and the field of her work was very
wide since she preached everywhere. But my condition was just the opposite;
few cared for me, so I found it rather difficult. Yet when I looked to the Lord,
He said to me, "If you cannot live by faith, you cannot work for Me." I knew
that I needed living work and living faith to serve a living God.

When once I found that there was only about ten dollars in my wallet, which
before long would be fully spent, I suddenly recalled the widow of Zarephath,
who had only a handful of meal in the barrel and a little oil in the cruse (1
Kings 17:12). There were not two handfuls of meal. I did not know by what
means God sustained her, but I knew He had the means.